My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
