dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
