i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
