I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
