My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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