Swine flu is the new snow day.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
try to milk me bitch
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