can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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