in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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