I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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