Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
