i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
