how can u be prego again
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Randomize
