I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
