I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
well you can't waste a boner
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
