Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
