My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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