The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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