At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
