They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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