you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
