Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
