dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
