yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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