A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
