Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
