NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
