Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
