I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
