it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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