how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
