I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So many bounce houses so little time
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize