Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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