Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My vagina is officially offended.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
