you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
