Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
