you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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