if only i could text you this smell
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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