Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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