My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
