After last night, I could never be a politician.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
