Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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