Your tits are I can't wait for
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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