and you said cock pushups were impossible
Come see our sink grown plant.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
