he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
FUCK WHALES
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