i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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