It's just like the Real World with babies
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
