My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I will pee on everything he values.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
