I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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