It's Friday. Sex?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
