i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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