do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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