If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
