It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize