"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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