Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
