The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
