I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
