just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize