Kiss
Puke
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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