That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize